I once Tweeted this little nugget of wisdom: “Sometimes I wish Twitter rules applied in real life, limiting people to 120 characters before having to shut their fucking face!”

 

Those same rules apply to attraction. And here’s a little vignette to demonstrate just that.

*******

It was our third date. We were back at my apartment. Candlelight flicked over the walls. French pop music played on softly on the stereo.

She and I looked at each other, our faces reflecting the same confused-but-trying-not-to-appear-confused expression. We were two strangers who followed our strange attraction for one another to its final destination. My apartment. Lit with candles. With French pop music playing softly on the stereo.

Then, she said it because she had to say it. They always have to say it. “Nothing’s going to happen.” Along with the lecture. Respect. Trust. Commitment. Intimacy.

I say nothing. Enter tension, stage left.

“Let’s watch a movie!” she interjects. It’s an emergency brake. It’s meant to release the tension.

She digs a Best Buy bag out of her purse. She pulls out 5 dvds, 5 romantic comedy dvds. She shoves the stack of movies into my hands and says, “You pick!”

I throw the movies on the floor and say, “We’re watching the greatest movie of all time. It’s called Air Bud.” She tries to argue this point. With each objection, I raise a finger and say, “Please keep in mind…this is a movie about a dog…PLAYING BASKETBALL.”

She resists. She pouts. She says nothing. Tension returns, act 2.

I get lots of LMABRAKA, “last minute resistance,” a girl conforming to a societal standard that dictates she “hold off” from intimate contact until she spends more time with you (which sometimes involve Air Bud movie dates). (Last Minute Air Bud Resistance). We sit in silence.

We are two strangers looking at a collection of dvds, spilled across the hardwood floor.

Finally, she relents. We watch the movie. On our third date. Back at my apartment. Candlelight flicking over the walls. Air Bud playing to no one softly on the television.

We were two strangers arriving at the final destination of attraction.

Words didn’t bring us there. Silence did.

********

If you enjoy learning dating “lessons” through stories (often ill-fated and somehow hilarious), then click on the link below to read loads more of my best dating stories (with embedded lessons):

Read the Canonical Book on Dating, The 4 Elements of Game

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