The Cock-Block Champion
You’re your own biggest cock-block. I know because I’m my own biggest cock-block. While it’s fun and easy to blame outside factors for our dating failures—her nagging friends, your genetics, or the city we live in—the thing holding you back most from having the love life you want is what’s going on between your ears.
Now I’m not going to go all “self-help” on you and lambast you with a condescending rant on “limiting beliefs” or “success barriers.” The truth is more concrete than some rehashed Tony Robbins buzzwords. Unlike Tony’s abstract terms, you sabotage yourself with behavior that’s very tangible, very understandable, and very changeable. Once you recognize it, you can change it—immediately.
You are hiding.
Yup. You read right. The cock-blocking job of the century, the one you’re doing to yourself, is no more than 3 little words. You. Are. Hiding. Even as you read this article, you’re peering one eye out of your hiding spot, hoping that when I shout, “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” that I don’t uncover your hiding spot.
Probably you hoped I was going to lambast you with that condescending rant on “limiting beliefs” and “success barriers.” That way, you could peak your one eye from your hiding spot, smile, and not have to come out and face your success.
But I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to let you hide anymore.
If your behavior is an end to an end—meaning it helps you “pickup chicks by picking up chicks,” then it’s in alignment with your intentions. By all means, do it.
When we hide, we don’t attract the girls we want. And it’s my job to uncover why you’re not attracting the girls you want, and help you change it. That is why you’re reading, isn’t it? You don’t really want to hide, as safe as it may feel. Deep down you want me to find you. You want me to drag you out—even if it’s kicking and screaming. You want to realize for yourself just how absolutely fucking awesome your potential is for having a happy and successful love life.
So…come out, come out, wherever you are…
Stop Being Mr. Social
You go out with your friends. You believe in the myth of “being the most popular guy in the room.” You believe in the myth that people actually notice other people having fun. You believe in the myth that chatting up everyone and becoming their friend is the way to a woman’s heart.
And you believe in the biggest myth of all: that “being social” will save you from being yourself—which you fear is not good enough to attract women.
Let’s face it: if you’re not a naturally gregarious person, but you’re doing it to attract women, you’re afraid YOU—as yourself—won’t be good enough. Forget what the pickup community told you, being social isn’t high status. It doesn’t demonstrate value. It won’t attract women.
Being social only gives you a place to hide your personality. Rather than do something that feels normal, you do something that feels weird. I know firsthand that walking up and talking to strangers feels weird. It’s not something I’d do if I wasn’t trying to pickup women; therefore I’m only doing it as a means to an end. Fuck a “means to an end.” Why not concentrate on the “end to an end.”
If you eliminate the “social middleman,” you’re left with your real objective: picking up babes. Walking up to a girl and attempting to pick her up is you coming out of your hiding spot. You’re not hiding your intentions or doing something that’s a “means to an end.” You’re putting yourself out there. You’re opening yourself up to greater rejection, or to greater success. Regardless, you’re no longer hiding.
“But Rob,” I can hear the neophyte stammer, “I don’t feel comfortable hitting on girls! It intimidates me and you said not to do things that doesn’t feel natural just to attract women! Aren’t you being a hypocrite?”
Notice I said acting social feels “weird.” It feels weird to people who don’t approach strangers because it’s not in alignment with their intentions. If your intention is to pickup women, but you rationalize, “I’ll be social in order to pickup women,” then you’re doing something weirdly out of alignment with your ultimate goal. Instead, you should say: “I’ll pickup women in order to pickup women.” There’s nowhere to hide in that sentence. You’re picking up women by picking up women.
Might it be scary? Uncomfortable? Yes. Might it feel intimidating? Yes. Is that an excuse not to do it? Should you sit there and no nothing instead? NO. You’re not going to “pickup women by not picking up women.” Hiding behind your fear is just more hiding. Here’s a Tony Robbins’ buzzword for you: If you want to pickup women, repeat your non-hiding affirmation: “I’ll pickup women in order to pickup women.”
No hiding. No bullshit. It’s see girl, get girl. Eliminate the middleman. Eliminate “social.”
As much as I’d like to end this article on that badass note, I have to clarify one final point. On my live programs, I often give the “fuck social, we’re not pickup artists…we’re hitting on girls!” speech to my students. The student always loves it, high-fives me, and puts his game face on.
Forget what the pickup community told you, being social isn’t high status. It doesn’t demonstrate value. It won’t attract women.
When we hit the venue, the student usually opens girls like a dude who’s there to pickup chicks…but then…as he interacts with the girl…the social habits creep back in. Suddenly, he starts doing things that places the unnecessary “social middleman” into the interaction. He’s hiding again. And very often he’s hiding behind things he learned from the pickup community.
Now I’m not saying all the tactics and outer game advice in the pickup community is bad or harmful, however I am advocating you run your behavior through this filter: Is what I’m doing a means to an end, or an end to an end? If a tactic or trick is a “means to an end,” you’re hiding. Don’t do it. If your behavior is an end to an end—meaning it helps you “pickup chicks by picking up chicks,” then it’s in alignment with your intentions. By all means, do it.
And do it like you mean it.
So tonight, when you step your foot into the venue, are you going to hide? I already found your hiding spot, but it’s up to whether you want to come out or not. I hope you do. I hope you stop cock-blocking yourself.
This idea of “hiding” is developed in greater detail in my book, “The 4 Elements of Game.” In my book, we’ve built our entire system and philosophy around the core principle of “getting at the truth,” which is what it means to stop and start picking up hot women. Please click on the link below to learn more and read about guys just like you who used our book for incredible dating success: