His Phone Was His WingmanA buddy who is usually also interested in meeting and attracting women and accompanies you when out meeting and attracting women. A good wingman will add to an attractive vibe and keep you positive. Most often, guys link up with a wingman when cold approaching women in night game.
He made out with the ugly girl first.
I’d told him to approach the redhead he’d been eyeing all night. Tom gazed at me with his glassy blue eyes, and then nodded. He took a deep breath, turned, and made his way toward her. The redhead was reclined against the pool table, her tits pressed tightly against her retro t-shirt, and she had a bored look on her face.
Right as Tom was within earshot of her, he turned to the girl standing next to her: the short, chubby booze-bag girl. I palmed my face in frustration. Here was a guy who had everything going for him—a guy that women would love. Yet he’d admitted to me that he’d only dated “5’s and 6’s” because hot women intimidated him.
I chugged my beer as I watched the abomination by the pool table unfold. Of course the chubby booze-bag loved him…he was way out of her league! As Tom spoke to her, the booze-bag’s face lit up and she clawed him.
Then, boom. They were making out. (Yuck.)
As soon as Tom could pry himself away, he walked back over to me dripping in shame.
“She was nice,” Tom muttered, looking at his shoes, “Sorta.”
“Dude…” I began, not knowing where to even begin.
I realized that Tom, like most guys, didn’t lack confidenceThe permission you grant yourself to remain comfortable in uncomfortable situations.. He didn’t lack a love of women. Nor did he lack the driveMotivation to actively approach and interact with women. When a man has a driven mindset, he will fearlessly—and shamelessly—pursue his goals and aspirations. (In the context of dating, that would be a woman he finds attractive.) to do it.
What guys like Tom lack is an understanding of what’s at stake. Maybe you can relate. How many times have you shied away from an approach, because you didn’t consider, “What’s at stake?” It’s so common to blow things out of proportion and lose sight of what counts.
In less abstract terms, it’s easy to get caught up in worrying over what other people are going to say or think, how embarrassed you’ll be if the girl rejects you, or a million other things that really don’t matter at all.
Because as you’re thinking about all those things, the girl walks away. And it’s then—then!—that you realize that you could have handled the snarky comments from haters or the possibility that she wouldn’t like you—but what you have a hard time swallowing is knowing that you did nothing at all.
You acted like a pussy. And you pay for it with regret.
Like Rocky and Mick
I hate seeing guys like Tom go through life settling for those “5’s and 6’s.” That’s the entire reason I became a dating coach to begin with—to get guys dating the girls they REALLY want.
And that’s why I agreed to put together a custom curriculum for Tom.
I promised to throw everything I knew at him to get him over his approach anxiety. After countless nights probing his thoughts and watching him shy away from approaching, I finally figured out exactly how to get “inside his mind” so that approaching wasn’t a burden—it was a reflex.
I edited and rewrote several of my best essays, made them into PDF’s, and sent them to Tom. These essays defined the “mindset for success,” “motivation maxims,” “the right attitude,” even “the choice” he has to make internally before he ever sees a girl. Essentially, I shined a spotlight on “the stakes” and let Tom see the situation for what it was.
No more blowing things out of proportion. No more letting his imagination get the best of him. No more regrets.
As Tom studied the essays, he still had some jitters while out.
“I feel motivated when I read the PDFs,” he explained, “But when I’m out, it seems like I forget everything.”
That’s when I realized I could put my curriculum in Tom’s pocket. Using my nerd skills, I spent weeks in the Batcave creating a cell phone app. At first, I just put my core “approach anxiety” curriculum on it. But later I expanded it to include a journal, video seminar clips, and even checklists to prepare for a night out of meeting women.
I whipped it up in HTML5, called it “ApproacHER,” and sent Tom a beta version. Excited, he told me to meet up him later that week. It was going to be the moment of truth.
When I met Tom out and found him checking his phone.
“What do you think,” I asked.
He didn’t even bother to answer; instead, he breezed right by me and approached a stunning girl by the bar. Within minutes, she was claw at him just like that chubby booze-bag had only a few weeks prior.
I pumped my fists in triumph. Tom understood the stakes.
Just the other day, I made the ApproacHER app that I gave to Tom available for Android. If you, too, would like to overcome your approach anxiety and have a tool to coach you through those nerve-wracking moments when you see a hot girl, checkout “ApproacHER” for Android!