I got a killer conversation technique to share with you.
In fact, I used this exact move last night on a date and it ignited fireworks. Literally 0 to 60 in just a few words… But first, let’s talk about “the sinking ice feeling.” The sinking ice feeling is that feeling in your chest when you know you’re bombing.
When a girl is standing in front of you and nothing you’re saying is connecting.
Your jokes are falling flat.
You stumble over your words, saying “like” or “um” constantly.
And you just know that every word out of your mouth is pushing your girl further and further away.
And then…to make matters worse…the “the sinking ice” feeling gets even worse. Often once the “downwards spiral” begins, there’s no stopping it.
About Last Night…
Last night, I was visited by the ghosts of “the sinking ice feeling.” Granted, I haven’t felt this way in a LONG time, but last night, I was out to dinner with a girl I’ve been seeing and I was crashing and burning.
This girl told me that her “feelings changed” because I didn’t make enough of an effort to see her and that she was moving on. Bad as that was to hear, she kept pummeling me with all the phrases I never like hearing.
…I’m thinking about going on dates with other guys.
…I don’t think we can work things out.
At first, I tried to muster up some attractive banter and change her mood. I started teasing her and throwing out some jokes. But then, I got the ultimate diss:
Rob, I know you’re trying to win me back with your dating advice or whatever, but be serious for a moment. We’re breaking up.
There’s NOTHING worse than a girl calling you out for trying to use a little game! The sinking ice feeling turned into the glacier that sunk the Titanic!
There was only way I could get out of this one…
A technique I call “META-GAME.”
The meta gameAcknowledging the social dynamics at play during an interaction. is when you acknowledge the “social dynamics” at play in your conversation. In other words, you own up to what you’re doing.
Which leads me into the ONE technique you can use TONIGHT to turn interactions around, even when you’re getting the “sinking ice feeling.”
The meta game is when you acknowledge the “social dynamics” at play in your conversation. In other words, you own up to what you’re doing.
Last night, that sounded something like this…
After my girl “called me out” for using my own “dating advice” on her, I said:
You’re absolutely right. I’m totally using dating advice right now. But why wouldn’t I? You’re an awesome girl. You look absolutely stunning tonight. I would be a fool if I didn’t sit here and give you my best material in a vain attempt to win you back.
Once I applied the meta-game, guess what happened…
My girl busted up laughing.
The Comeback Kid of Dating
Suddenly I wasn’t using dating advice as “manipulation”…I was using it to save our relationship!
And it didn’t stop there…
Once she was laughing, I continued by saying:
You see, the next thing I’m going to do is lean over and whisper in your ear something I’ve wanted you to know since I moment I first saw you…
Of course, I leaned over the table and whispered an attractive compliment in her ear.
I kept applying the meta-game all through our date, for example:
Now that we’re joking and laughing again, it’s only appropriate if I awkwardly try to kiss you, and then you push me away, but you secretly know you kinda want to kiss me, too.
See how this works? You basically “announce” or point out everything you’re doing!
This is pure gold. It gives you a way to turn the conversation around, even when it seems you reached the Point of No Return (aka “the sinking ice feeling”).
In a pickup, I often use this if I make a joke that doesn’t get any laughs. Rather than “pretend it didn’t happen” like most guys, I say:
Haha oh wow, that joke BOMBED! Man, that sounded really funny in my head but when it left my lips I instantly regretted it. Total awkward moment, but thank you for no giving me any pity laughs! At least I crashed and burned with a shred of dignity.
Whenever you “own” what you’re doing, you display “meta-game”…an awareness of social cues that 99% of guys don’t understand. Girls LOVE this because they’re very socially aware, too. When you demonstrate to them that you “get it,” you make yourself stand out from most other guys.