I got a killer conversation technique to share with you.

In fact, I used this exact move last night on a date and it ignited fireworks. Literally 0 to 60 in just a few words… But first, let’s talk about “the sinking ice feeling.” The sinking ice feeling is that feeling in your chest when you know you’re bombing.

When a girl is standing in front of you and nothing you’re saying is connecting.

Your jokes are falling flat.

You stumble over your words, saying “like” or “um” constantly.

And you just know that every word out of your mouth is pushing your girl further and further away.

And then…to make matters worse…the “the sinking ice” feeling gets even worse. Often once the “downwards spiral” begins, there’s no stopping it.

About Last Night…

Last night, I was visited by the ghosts of “the sinking ice feeling.” Granted, I haven’t felt this way in a LONG time, but last night, I was out to dinner with a girl I’ve been seeing and I was crashing and burning.

This girl told me that her “feelings changed” because I didn’t make enough of an effort to see her and that she was moving on. Bad as that was to hear, she kept pummeling me with all the phrases I never like hearing.

…you’re distant.

…I’m thinking about going on dates with other guys.

…I don’t think we can work things out.

At first, I tried to muster up some attractive banter and change her mood. I started teasing her and throwing out some jokes. But then, I got the ultimate diss:

Rob, I know you’re trying to win me back with your dating advice or whatever, but be serious for a moment. We’re breaking up.

Ouch.

There’s NOTHING worse than a girl calling you out for trying to use a little game! The sinking ice feeling turned into the glacier that sunk the Titanic!

There was only way I could get out of this one…

A technique I call “META-GAME.”

The meta gameAcknowledging the social dynamics at play during an interaction. is when you acknowledge the “social dynamics” at play in your conversation. In other words, you own up to what you’re doing.

Which leads me into the ONE technique you can use TONIGHT to turn interactions around, even when you’re getting the “sinking ice feeling.”

The meta game is when you acknowledge the “social dynamics” at play in your conversation. In other words, you own up to what you’re doing.

Last night, that sounded something like this…

After my girl “called me out” for using my own “dating advice” on her, I said:

You’re absolutely right. I’m totally using dating advice right now. But why wouldn’t I? You’re an awesome girl. You look absolutely stunning tonight. I would be a fool if I didn’t sit here and give you my best material in a vain attempt to win you back.

Once I applied the meta-game, guess what happened…

My girl busted up laughing.

The Comeback Kid of Dating

Suddenly I wasn’t using dating advice as “manipulation”…I was using it to save our relationship!

And it didn’t stop there…

Once she was laughing, I continued by saying:

You see, the next thing I’m going to do is lean over and whisper in your ear something I’ve wanted you to know since I moment I first saw you…

Of course, I leaned over the table and whispered an attractive compliment in her ear.

I kept applying the meta-game all through our date, for example:

Now that we’re joking and laughing again, it’s only appropriate if I awkwardly try to kiss you, and then you push me away, but you secretly know you kinda want to kiss me, too.

See how this works? You basically “announce” or point out everything you’re doing!

This is pure gold. It gives you a way to turn the conversation around, even when it seems you reached the Point of No Return (aka “the sinking ice feeling”).

In a pickup, I often use this if I make a joke that doesn’t get any laughs. Rather than “pretend it didn’t happen” like most guys, I say:

Haha oh wow, that joke BOMBED! Man, that sounded really funny in my head but when it left my lips I instantly regretted it. Total awkward moment, but thank you for no giving me any pity laughs! At least I crashed and burned with a shred of dignity.

Whenever you “own” what you’re doing, you display “meta-game”…an awareness of social cues that 99% of guys don’t understand. Girls LOVE this because they’re very socially aware, too. When you demonstrate to them that you “get it,” you make yourself stand out from most other guys.

  1. Hey Rob,

    Great post man, Always good to have something in your arsenal for when something you say completely bombs!! Now I have this so thanks for sharing!

    Chat soon buddy!

    Simon

  2. Nice advice. Since looooooong ago, that technique belongs to the toolbox of one of the most respected PUAS in Spain. He calls it the “Narrator” iso the “Meta Game”. In the end, it consists of telling the girl what is really up to both of you at that moment, or what will be happening next. Always in a way which is favourable to you: showing vulnerability, boldness, social awareness, charming behaviour….whatever you feel necessary to convey. A lot of psycho can be tightly packed thanks to this technique: TRUST (by saying what’s happenning), ANTICIPATION (by saying what will happen), CONFIDENCE, SHARED BONDS,… It’s also great for SOIs: “Daniela, you may feel I was not present for the last 30 seconds while talking to me. Yeah, your right. I was thinking you have such delicate sweet lips I’d better bite them gently when I try to kiss you later on”.

  3. I hate to admit it, but I believe this meta game technique will work. If not for all women, it will work at least for most of them. Speaking on behalf of most women, confidence in men, among other traits, is what we find really irresistible. In using the meta game technique and owning up to what the man is doing, he is showing how secured he is about himself and is not pathetically clingy or unmanly shattered to accept his loss in the relationship. This is a brilliant idea that I think men can use on their own women.

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