Empowered dating advice for men

How to be a Successful Student of Men’s Dating Advice

Sometimes I feel like a fortuneteller. I can often tell a guy’s future. I can tell how a guy’s is going to progress, what sort of girl he’s going to end up with, and how happy he’ll most likely be.

But I don’t know this by some mystical magic ball or an enchanted set of tarot cards. No, my augurs come from something much less exciting…

If you’re wondering what to do in a certain situation, with a certain girl, at a certain time, chances are you have the wrong attitude.

I can tell by the questions he asks me.

Any Questions?

As someone who gets bombarded with questions every day on email, Facebook, Tweeter, and the like, I’ve begun to see patterns. In general, the questions I receive usually fall into two categories:

  • Temporary fixes
  • Long-term gains

For example, a temporary fix question might be, “How can I attract this girl in my class?” Long-term gains, on the other hand, are questions like, “How can I keep myself motivated to keep meeting women?” Just about every question anyone’s ever asked me has fallen into those 2 categories.

Not only do I get a lot of these questions on the internet.com, I also get peppered with these sorts of questions on my live programs (obviously). Often students want to know the best way to approach a certain girl or what to do in a certain situation.

While I can completely understand why my student would ask that, I also know the answer I want to give him won’t make him happy. I want to tell him that it doesn’t really matter that much.

While I could teach guys temporary fixes, ultimately it’s like when Wile E. Coyote runs off a cliff in Looney Tunes. Wile E. Coyote will keep running until he notices there’s no solid ground under him, then he’ll plummet into the canyon below. Likewise, I could give guys a long string of “quick fixes” but eventually there’s going to come point—maybe 2 minutes into an interaction or maybe 2 weeks into a relationship—where he doesn’t know what to do. Then, like Wile E. Coyote, he’s going find himself helplessly plummeting…

That’s why I’ve distilled my entire teaching philosophy down to 2 sets of core principles: 4-EG and F.E.R.A. While this blog post isn’t the forum to detail those principles, I mention them because they emphasize long-term gains rather than quick fixes.

As a teacher, I feel I have a responsibility to focus most of my material on long-term gains. But, likewise, as a student, you have a responsibility (to yourself) to put the majority of your attention into long-term gains, too. If you’re wondering what to do in a certain situation, with a certain girl, at a certain time, chances are you have the wrong attitude. (And, the brutal truth is: chances are that if you’re thinking about that stuff, then you’ve already blown it with that girl or situation anyway.)

Fortune Teller…

I know this may sound obvious, but like I said, I can often foresee a guy’s future success or failure based solely on the questions he’s asking me. If he’s asking me stupid-ass, short-term questions, I know it won’t matter how well I teach him—he’s still going to fail.

That’s because he has the wrong attitude.  As the old cliché goes, you can lead a horse to water…

…likewise, you can take a guy to a nightclub, you can tell him everything he needs to know about meeting women, yet if that guy can’t see the forest for the trees, and can’t stop getting emotionally and intellectually hung up in every single girl he encounters, then he’s never to succeed with women. Ever.

I could give guys a long string of “quick fixes” but eventually there’s going to come point—maybe 2 minutes into an interaction or maybe 2 weeks into a relationship—where he doesn’t know what to do.

So let this short post serve as reminder: reorient your thinking. Don’t be another fated failure because you can’t get over your pride and risk a few rejections. You’re not going to breeze through this journey without some friction and embarrassment. There’s a reason the failure rate is so incredibly high in this industry: because the price of your pride is fucking expensive. (It’s even more expensive than Annihilation Method!)

Your pride is what causes you to ask stupid-ass, short-term questions. It’s the pride you put into never letting yourself fail—not even once. Fuck that. Unless you want to set yourself up for a LIFE OF FAILURE, learn to focus on the long-term gains. Ask the questions that will bring you success 3 months from now, not 3 minutes from now.

Be a stud, not a Wile E. Coyote.

ApproacHER: My iPhone app

So the last few weeks I’ve been hard at work on developing my own iPhone app. I designed it as a mini-course on getting over “approach anxiety.” Having an app to help coach you through those crucial moments when you see an attractive girl seemed like the perfect use for an app (since you can just pull it out of your pocket and use it as an approach coach.)

Anyway, Apple just approved it and it’s available in the app store! You can check it out by typing in the keyword: ApproacHER or you can learn more on the information page, here:

ApproacHER info page

Here’s the copy I wrote for the Apple store:

If you’ve ever noticed a beautiful girl you’d like to meet but failed to approach her, then this app is for you!ApproacHER is an all-encompassing course on approaching and beginning an interaction with a woman. Whether you’re an aspiring “pickup artist” (PUA) or just a guy who’d like to meet more women, this app will get you approaching beautiful women.
ApproacHER contains 5 tabs—each packed with tips, exercises, mindsets, and pointers on how to approach women. On the HOME screen, you will find an introduction to the ApproacHER course as well as a quick reference guide of checklists and cheatsheets so that you can recall the course lessons in a flash. This is especially helpful when you’re out and you see a girl you’d like to approach…just reach into your pocket, reference the cheatsheets, and BOOM: you’re ready to approach!

The bulk of the ApproacHER coursework is found in the PRE-GAME and THE APPROACH tabs. Here you will find essays, maxims, exercises, examples, and articles on everything you need to know before you approach an attractive girl. You will learn specific approach exercises that alleviate you of the nervousness and anxiety you may feel before approaching.

These tabs also contain information on how to “open” a woman, how to position yourself with attractive body language…it even instructs you on what to do if you make a mistake!

It’s time you take charge of your love life by approaching them. You will never know what could have been if you keep passively staring at women from the sidelines!

After you read the entries in the PRE-GAME and THE APPROACH tabs, you will be approaching women as simply as if it were a reflex!

To reinforce the mindsets and teachings of these tabs, ApproacHER also contains a SEMINAR tab, which contains 9 lecture clips of Rob Judge explaining how to build the confidence you need to approach women.

These short soundbite clips were designed to give you motivation when you need it: right before you approach an attractive woman. Listen to the short clips of Rob and let his enthusiasm guide you to take action. The clips are taken from 3 of the industry’s top dating conferences and are recorded in high quality audio.

The coursework of ApproacHER comes from Rob Judge, a veteran dating coach who specializes in helping men get over their “approach anxiety.” Rob has spent the last two and a half years helping men get over their fear of approaching women. He knows exactly how to motivate you to take action with attractive women.

ApproacHER also has a built in JOURNAL tab that lets you track your progress as you make a habit of approaching women. Use the journal to quickly jot down notes on women you approach so you remember the great experiences and empowering feelings long after the approach is over! Your entries will be saved for 5 days, giving you plenty of time to input your notes into an offline journal.

Stop letting attractive women walk out of your life! It’s time you take charge of your love life by approaching them. You will never know what could have been if you keep passively staring at women from the sidelines!

When you’re an old man, you will never regret the girls you approached…only the girls you didn’t approach! Just imagine how many great women are out there, waiting to meet you. Let ApproacHER give you the confidence to start meeting them.

Not only will ApproacHER supercharge your confidence to approach women, it will also tweak your approach so you don’t come across as creepy or sleazy.

ApproacHER covers everything you need to know to attractively establish a mutually enjoyable interaction between you and a woman. You will learn the EXACT signals a woman’s looking for when a man approaches her.

Don’t hesitate: every day dozens of beautiful women pass you by. Who knows which one might your next lover, girlfriend, or even wife! Give yourself a chance by giving ApproacHER a shot. Download it instantly to your phone right now and start approaching women ASAP!

How to Write a Journal that reads like a Hollywood Movie

Writing a journal is one the best ways to spend your time. To me, writing about your experiences is like drinking a protein shake after an intense workout. The act of writing lets you relive your experiences from a godlike perspective as you examine your choices without emotion, allowing you to make sense of yourself, other people, and the situation. Your journal is how you can suck the marrow from life, making the most of each day.

Like a chicken or the egg debate, you have to decide what comes first: a great life or a great story? For me, the two work together like a piston.

When it comes to improving your success with women, keeping a journal is crucial. If you’re not writing about your dating adventures and misadventures, you’re severely handicapping yourself. My fastest and most intense learning spurts happened when I was journaling religiously. If you’re serious about improving your success with women (or improving any other aspect of your life), then you should get serious about getting a journal.

Whether you want to make your journal public or private is completely up to you. Although, regardless if your journal becomes the next national best seller or it’s only read by you, knowing how to write a journal will vastly enhance the fun you have as you write the episodes of your life. The more you understand about writing, the more goodness you can pack into your journal.

And if you think you’re a lousy writer, you’re probably wrong. Maybe you think writing is about crafting interesting sentences or developing some pretentious theme. At the very least, most people mistake good writing for a good plot. Most good stories do not rest on the structure of a plotline. Instead, the best stories grow out of compelling characters.

Barroom Hero

If you’re an interesting human, you can writ interesting characters.

That, in essence, is the beauty of keeping journal: it challenges you to live your life to the fullest. No one wants to be the writer who sits down and write, “Went to the bar. Drank some beer. Saw a hot girl. Went home.” What the fuck kind of story/life is that?! Instead, you want to be the guy with the epic tale of barroom heroics. You want to pen a narrative that will gleam in the annuals of amazing hookups. You want to be a hero.

Art imitates life. Like a chicken or the egg debate, you have to decide what comes first: a great life or a great story? For me, the two work together like a piston. The better my stories become, the more I want to live my life to the fullest. And that doesn’t just mean living out my own adventures. Meeting other “characters” and observing them is often equally as rewarding as living out my own exploits.

Under the context of “success with women,” you can find inspiration in the most unlikely places. If you know what you’re looking for, you can learn lessons about pickup from the people all around you. That’s the beauty of keeping a journal that chronicles your quest to improve your love life: you are working with the greatest story arcs of all time. “Guy chases girl(s) and learns about himself in the process” has been a winning formula for literature across the ages. It’s timeless.

Here are some short stories and narratives of mine that demonstrate how I journal:

The Biology Professor Who Didn’t Give a Fuck

My Valentine’s Day Massacre

When the Internet Lied