10.) Know why you’re doing it

While it seems obvious, many guys have no idea why they want to learn pickup. Some guys want to get girls, some guys want to learn social skills, some guys just want to feel a sense of “power”.

Whatever your reason for learning, I’ve noticed that it dictates HOW you progress, even when you get to an advanced level. Knowing why you got into this truly is the foundation upon which your learning will build upon.

In my experience, I’ve found the guys who get into pickup because they love women and want to date as many as they can are usually the guys who progress the fastest.

The guys who do it craving the validation of other men are the guys you still see “bragging”. While it may seem completely obvious, step back and ask yourself: WHY DID I GET INTO THIS??

9.) “Burn the ships”

You may have heard the anecdote about the Greek warriors who would burn their ships when invading a foreign country. The implication is that the Greeks either win in battle or die, there is no retreating.

That metaphor applies to learning pickup as well. Unfortunately, if you’re not getting the results with women you want, it’s because there are things in your life anchoring you to failure. It may be judgmental friends, a soul-destroying job, or even where you live.

Whatever it is, you must identify whatever it is that lets you “retreat” back into the person you were, and then “burn” it. That may mean moving to a new apartment, distancing yourself from your old friends, or letting go of something that’s painful — but necessary.

Doing so is the ONLY way you can ever hope to make an effective change in your life.

8.) Write and keep a journal

I cannot stress the importance of this enough. Writing reinforces your mindsets and helps you see your thoughts more clearly. So many guys bitch, “Well I’m not a good writer” when it has NOTHING to do with writing ability. It has to do with learning reinforcement.

Even if you can’t write a report for every night you go out, just jotting down notes is a fantastic way to solidify your new mindsets and form a new, attractive identity.

7.) Observe good guys

It’s so important you observe EVERY guy you see who is good with women. There are plenty of smooth player guys who know nothing about “dating advice,” yet still get fantastic results.

DON’T put your blinders on to these guys. How to pickup a girl is the same, no matter if a guy studies game or is just naturally good at it. Therefore, EVERY guy who is good with women can teach you something — don’t hate on someone just because he doesn’t know what microcalibration means

6.) Assemble a “crew”

Having a core group of motivated guys is SO crucial for learning pickup. Many guys starting out think if they can make friends with the “good” guys, they’ll progress faster (I definitely thought like this when I started).
However, you’ll actually learn more going out with guys closer to your level. The reason is, you guys understand each other and can relate to one another and that, in itself, is motivating.

As such, surround yourself with like-minded, inspired guys close to your level to maximize the influence you have on one another.

5.) Listen to audiobooks, read constantly

To truly shift your mindset and create an identity, you must go through a process of “total immersion.” Unfortunately, this leads to “obsessive” thinking for many guys, where they can’t stop thinking about and talking about pickup.

While this is a negative side effect of learning this stuff, I don’t know a single “good” guy who didn’t go through a period of “obsession.” As such, you should continually feed your brain. Stock your iPod with audio books and always have a glue-and-paper book with you to read in your down time.

At this point, there are so many recommended books self-help, you could never read them all. But read and listen to as much as you can. Eventually you’ll find the information just becomes a part of you like…well…a new identity.

4.) Join a mastermind group

No matter where you live, there’s similar-minded guys around you. Find these guys create groups to discuss your progress. In the pickup community, it’s called a “LAIR”.

Make sure to participate in the discussions on their message boards and definitely attend meet guys off the Internet! Some guys scoff at lairs, writing them off as “creepy man-fests” or whatever. Don’t be that guy!

The free content and willingness of the “good” guys to help in lairs is such a value resource, you can’t even imagine!

3.) Get a stylish haircut

Guys. Seriously. Most of you need a stylish haircut. I can’t tell you how many times a newbie guy will ask me for advice on how to get a “30 second makeout” yet he looks like shit.

Unfortunately, looks do matter.

Welll…looks don’t matter a lot, but they certain matter to an extent. However, like I always tell guys, it’s less about being “good looking” than it is about being “not ugly.” Most guys who get disqualified by their looks have what I call “ugly features”.

These features include yellow teeth, moobs (man boobs), acne, or (most commonly) a horrible haircut.

While it may take time to fix your teeth, loose weight, or clear up acne (although all things within your control and there’s no reason not to fix them), getting a cool haircut only takes an afternoon. Trust me, if you haven’t changed your hairstyle in a few years, go out and get some opinions from gay guys and women, then get a stylish haircut.

You’ll see a dramatic improvement in your game THAT NIGHT!

2.) Either go hard or go home, no middle ground

There’s no room for dabblers in the land of newbies. Either you go out 2-3 nights a week and do a couple day game approaches on week days, or don’t even bother. I’ve actually seen guys do better when they spend a couple months reading materials, and then get serious and hit (real) pickup hard than guys who dabble, going out for a few weekends and then take a few weekends off.

When you’re a newbie, going out is rough. You’re going to have to deal with the discomfort of rejection…a lot. Sucks, but we all had to go through it.

The problem with dabbling though is that you only remember the pain. Thus, when you take some “time off,” all you remember is how much approaching and getting rejected hurts, so you’re less motivated to it every time you “return” to the field.

If you’re not ready to commit 100 percent and go out for a stretch of months, don’t bother. You’re only going to hurt yourself in the long run.

However, if you’re motivated and WANT results, hit it HARD. For me, I always loved women (and sex) way too much to “dabble,” so I didn’t take a “rest” until I already had a steady rotation of girls in my life (which took a long time, make no mistake).

1.) Have low expectations

The single, most important thing to remember as a newbie is remembering to have no expectations. EVERY major coach I’ve ever talked to has said the same thing, “When I first started, my expectations for success were very low.”
Ironically, most of the failing students I talk to have their expectations placed ridiculously high. The inflated marketing is partly to blame for the bloated expectations of these students, but the fault also lies within the student, too.

Learning pickup is not magic. There are some guys who can read an eBook and go out that night and lay a girl. Also, as the information gets better and more streamlined, there will be more cases where guys go out and have instant success.

However, DO NOT make that your expectation.

Go out with VERY realistic goals. When I first started, I was thrilled if I could just talk to a girl for 1 minute. Literally, I considered “opening for 1 minute” the biggest success in the history of pickup, and so that’s all I focused on.

I even remember the first time I get a phone number (of a girl I wasn’t even attracted to lol), I couldn’t even sleep that night I was so happy.

If you think you’re going to go out and pull a threesome with models when you’ve never even done a cold approach, you’re going to fail. Every time.

Set your expectations low as that’ll keep your motivation high. Remember, motivation is the fuel of the newbie…USE IT!

I wish the “next generation” of sexy man players the best of luck and hope my little top 10 list helps progress you closer all your dating success!