Neediness is disgusting. Nothing universally repels women faster than needy behavior. It doesn’t matter if it’s a guy she just met or someone she’s been in love with for years, if a woman catches a whiff of neediness emanating from a guy, her attraction for him dries up. No exceptions.

You probably already know this. You probably assume that knowledge saves you from ever succumbing to needy behavior. This means you probably know better than to repeatedly text a woman and ask her questions like, “Is everything okay? Do you like me?” Yet, at the same time, you’re probably conditioning an addiction to feelings of neediness every second without even realizing it. That’s not some hyperbolic claim meant to frighten you into reading this article; your smartphone is making you needy every second of every day.

However, you can stop this never-ending cycle of neediness with the flip of a switch—literally. I am going to share a simple tip that will take you less than 5 seconds to implement, yet it will cement a lasting change in your mindset that will not only make you exponentially less needy (and thus more attractive) to women, but will actually make you an overall happier and more productive person. All it takes is a change to your phone’s settings and you’ll enjoy profound, life-changing benefits. Sound too good to be true? Read on.

How to “Flip” the Switch to End Neediness

SETTINGS > NOTIFICATIONS > MESSAGES > ALLOW NOTIFICATIONS > Switch OFF

First, here’s the tip.  Go to your phone’s SETTINGS and click on NOTIFICATIONS. Scroll down and select MESSAGES. Switch ALLOW NOTIFICATIONS to OFF. (You’ll also probably want to do the same for Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp, tinder, Bumble, and any other social media/messaging platform that sends you notifications about how people are reacting to you.

Basically, you want to stop receiving notifications of any form of digital validation—whether it’s a message, comment, like, or otherwise. If you have any sort of emotional response to a notification—even if it’s only a slight response—silence it in your settings. Once you’ve implemented this change, let me explain why your life is about to become exponentially better.

The Anatomy of Neediness

As I mentioned earlier, any behavior that is motivated by a “need” for approval, validation, or attention is needy. When a needy chump sends a text like, “Are you receiving my messages? Why aren’t you responding?” he’s not actually interested in whether a woman is receiving his messages and/or why she hasn’t responded; instead, he’s simply hoping to get a response. He needs that response to placate his anxiety. And if—or more likely, when—he doesn’t get that response, that anxiety will only fester and multiply.

This is the definition of co-dependence: a needy guy depends on someone else to feel good. It’s not hard to conclude why this is so unattractive (in general) and to women (in particular).

Now, let’s draw the parallel of this desperate desire for validation with notifications on our smartphones. Why are we so obsessed with them? Notifications act as an instant form of validation. When your phone pings with a new notification, it creates a mini rush of adrenaline. That’s why it’s so hard to ignore them—the temptation is just too much!

Each time a notification appears on your screen, it’s like a mini reward for your brain, a pat on the back saying, “Hey, someone’s thinking about you.” However, the constant need for these digital back-pats makes you feel needy and anxious when they don’t come. Your happiness becomes tied to these tiny signals of affirmation. As you can imagine, that’s a disastrous recipe for self-esteem.

The Perils of Being Notification-Dependent

Just like the needy guy mentioned earlier, you end up hankering after the next notification, the next “LIKE” or the next comment. It’s no different than the sort of neediness that repels women. It’s a cry for validation, a hunger for approval, a thirst for attention. If you constantly let yourself be influenced by this, it’s no different from sending texts asking, “Do you like me?” In both cases, your self-worth is defined by others’ responses.

The constant bombardment of notifications also affects your productivity. Every time you’re interrupted, it takes about 23 minutes to refocus on your task, according to a study conducted by Gloria Mark, a professor of Informatics at the University of California, Irvine. So not only is neediness unattractive, it’s also a productivity killer.

Now, let’s go back to the simple tip mentioned before flipping the switch off on your notifications. Imagine a life where your mood isn’t dictated by the number of likes or messages you get. A life where you are in control of your happiness, rather than being at the mercy of notifications. You don’t feel needy or anxious for digital validation. Doesn’t that sound freeing?

By turning off your notifications, you are not only saving yourself from the constant anxiety of awaiting responses but also reclaiming your time and productivity. You’re setting a boundary and choosing when and how to interact with your digital world, rather than being interrupted and dictated by it.

The Implications of Silence

So, what happens when your phone is silent, not because of a lack of messages, but due to your deliberate action? Firstly, you’ll notice a sense of tranquility. You’re no longer on edge, waiting for your phone to light up. Your mind is freed from the constant distraction, and you’ll find you can focus better on the task at hand.

Your relationships, too, will improve. With no compulsion to respond immediately, you get to take your time to respond thoughtfully. This improves the quality of your interactions and also relieves the pressure to be always available. You become the master of your time, not a slave to every “PING” from your phone.

Finally, and most importantly, it changes the way you perceive validation. By not allowing your mood to be swayed by a device, you get to understand that your self-worth is not dependent on external validation. You stop being the needy guy craving responses and start being the confident individual who derives his worth from his own self.

Snatch back the reins of your digital existence. Render those notifications mute and permit your cerebrum some respite from the ceaseless onslaught of beeps and blips. This minuscule adjustment is the butterfly flapping its wings in the chaos theory of your life, promising to spawn a happier, more harmonious existence. Unshackle yourself from the self-inflicted prison of neediness, and all it begins with the flip of a switch.