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Silence in Seduction

Rob

I once Tweeted this little nugget of wisdom: “Sometimes I wish Twitter rules applied in real life, limiting people to 120 characters before having to shut their fucking face!”

 

Those same rules apply to attraction. And here’s a little vignette to demonstrate just that.

*******

It was our third date. We were back at my apartment. Candlelight flicked over the walls. French pop music played on softly on the stereo.

She and I looked at each other, our faces reflecting the same confused-but-trying-not-to-appear-confused expression. We were two strangers who followed our strange attraction for one another to its final destination. My apartment. Lit with candles. With French pop music playing softly on the stereo.

Then, she said it because she had to say it. They always have to say it. “Nothing’s going to happen.” Along with the lecture. Respect. Trust. Commitment. Intimacy.

I say nothing. Enter tension, stage left.

“Let’s watch a movie!” she interjects. It’s an emergency brake. It’s meant to release the tension.

She digs a Best Buy bag out of her purse. She pulls out 5 dvds, 5 romantic comedy dvds. She shoves the stack of movies into my hands and says, “You pick!”

I throw the movies on the floor and say, “We’re watching the greatest movie of all time. It’s called Air Bud.” She tries to argue this point. With each objection, I raise a finger and say, “Please keep in mind…this is a movie about a dog…PLAYING BASKETBALL.”

She resists. She pouts. She says nothing. Tension returns, act 2.

I get lots of LMABR (Last Minute Air Bud Resistance). We sit in silence.

We are two strangers looking at a collection of dvds, spilled across the hardwood floor.

Finally, she relents. We watch the movie. On our third date. Back at my apartment. Candlelight flicking over the walls. Air Bud playing to no one softly on the television.

We were two strangers arriving at the final destination of attraction.

Words didn’t bring us there. Silence did.

********

If you enjoy learning dating “lessons” through stories (often ill-fated and somehow hilarious), then click on the link below to read loads more of my best dating stories (with embedded lessons):

Read the Canonical Book on Dating, The 4 Elements of Game

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Rob

Rob Judge is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness. To stay up-to-date with his most current writing, connect with him on Facebook and on Twitter.

One Response

  • JT September 29, 2010 at 1:47 am

    Classic!

    Reply
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    robjudge

    I teach men how to meet, attract, and date hotter girls.

    Most men completely misunderstand “tests.” They t Most men completely misunderstand “tests.”

They think a woman is trying to mess with them…

When in reality, she’s trying to understand you.

She’s watching:
Do you get reactive?
Do you seek approval?
Do you lose your frame under pressure?

And the moment you over-explain, get defensive, or try to “win”…

You fail the test.

The guys who pass don’t argue.

They stay grounded.
They stay playful.
They don’t take it personally.

That’s what actually builds attraction.

#datingadvice #relationships #attraction #mensdating #confidence #textingadvice #selfimprovement
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    18 May

    Stop Chasing Women. Actually, Don’t. Just Hide It Better.

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    📊 Take the FREE Attraction Blind Spot Quiz:
robjudge.net/quiz

Smart men should dominate dating.

Instead, many of them struggle more than average guys.

Why?

Because the very thing that makes them successful in school, business, and life often sabotages them with women.

In this video, I break down the 3 fatal attraction mistakes smart men make:

• Remembering too much (and accidentally looking invested)
• Overthinking instead of executing
• Needing to be right instead of creating attraction

The irony is that intelligence isn’t the problem.

It’s how you’re using it.

If you’re a doctor, engineer, lawyer, entrepreneur, professor, or simply someone who tends to live in his head, this video may explain a lot.

📊 Take the FREE Attraction Blind Spot Quiz:
robjudge.net/quiz

Chapters:

00:00 The Question Smart Men Never Ask
01:11 Why Successful Men Struggle With Women
02:40 Mistake #1: Good Memory, Bad Vibe
04:31 The “Steve” Story (And Why It Backfired)
06:26 How I Beat Her Ex Without Trying
08:05 Mistake #2: Analysis Paralysis
10:02 The 3-Second Rule
11:06 The Rejection Game That Changes Everything
12:37 Mistake #3: Litigating Yourself Into Celibacy
14:07 Do You Want to Be Right or Get the Girl?
15:15 The Pressure Test Most Men Fail
16:17 Change Her Mood, Not Her Mind
16:56 The Biggest Blind Spot of All
18:04 Free Attraction Blind Spot Quiz
    Why Smart Men Struggle With Women & Dating
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