Rob Judge

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Welcome to the GREY AREA: Playing the Game Effectively

Rob

Love it or hate it, let’s just accept it: attracting women is a game. Thankfully, once you know the rules, you’ll know how to get the next hot woman you meet. Even more important than knowing how the game is played, you must understand how the game is WON.

Rule of the Game: DO NOT let her know how you feel about her right after you’ve met

Giving away too much, too soon makes her think she “has” you. You come off too predictable, too much of a sure thing. It lets her lump you into a category like:

  1. Another guy who wants me
  2. Another guy who likes me
  3. Another guy I have in the palm of my hand

You never want to end up in one of these categories. In fact, you never want to be in any category. If she can put you in a category, she thinks she has you all figured out. You’ll seem less fun and exciting to her, which is the same as saying less attractive.

Most women can figure out a man within minutes. That’s because most guys telegraph how interested they are in really obvious ways, like:

  1. Overtly kissing her ass
  2. Begging for her approval
  3. Trying to impress her (bragging)
  4. Agreeing with everything she says
Rule of the Game: NEVER turn into a girl’s social media fan

Liking or commenting on her Instagram and Facebook posts WILL NOT improve your chances. Just the opposite, you’re making it abundantly clear you have her up on a pedestal. If you become her social media fan, DO NOT pass Go, DO NOT collect $200, and DO NOT expect anything more than frustration and rejection!

Sometimes a guy will tip his hand in less obvious (but equally unattractive) ways. Some of the more subtle mistakes you can make with a woman are when you’re:

  1. Too available (via phone, text, or in person)
  2. Willing to cancel plans with your buddies for her
  3. Too agreeable and/or nice
  4. Always ready to do her favors

While subtle, once a woman notices a guy doing stuff like this, it’s game over. Don’t be surprised when she moves onto a guy she’s less sure about, one who seems like more of a challenge. In the next section, you’ll learn how you can be that challenging, sexy man.

Uncertainty is a “magic” word when it comes to keeping a woman interested.

The less certain a woman is about a guy, the more she’s in “THE GREY AREA,” trying to figure him out. Keep her guessing and you’ll stay on her mind because she’s constantly wondering, “Does he like me? He usually texts back within minutes, but I haven’t heard from him in over a day? What’s going on? Maybe his feelings changed…?”

When it comes to women, remember this simple equation:

The more uncertain she is about your feelings = the more she thinks about you = the more value she places on you

A woman will WORK to win over a man she values. It’s so much better if a woman feels she’s EARNED your time, attention, and approval rather than just having it handed to her.

When she starts WORKING to WIN YOU OVER you’re WINNING THE GAME! That’s the IDEAL situation to be in with ANY woman. She loves it, too. Women enjoy the game! It ignites her desire to win (you over).

Lucky for you, that usually means getting dolled up in her sexiest outfit. Enjoy! She’s hoping to get your attention. A win-win situation, for sure!

Rule of the Game: Avoid always trying to lock down your next date ASAP

A simple—but highly effective—way to introduce a healthy dose of uncertainty is to put on a poker face at the end of a date. The next time you and a woman spend an enjoyable evening together, the predictable move would be to immediately try and make future plans with her.

Don’t be so easy to figure out! Try saying this instead:

Okay, see you soon.

It will Drive her CRAZY. Your nonchalant attitude will get her wondering if she’ll ever see you again and keep you on her mind—EXACTLY what you want.

She’ll go home questioning herself:

Did he have a good time?

Maybe he didn’t like my outfit. I knew I should have worn my sexy black dress!

Does my breath smell?

Rule of the Game: Vary the time you take to respond to her texts

Additionally, avoid being too predictable with your texting. While you don’t have to be too drastic, if you usually respond to her texts within minutes, sometimes wait a few hours—or even days—to respond.

When she’s on YOUR time, you’re on HER mind. THAT’s how the game was meant to be played!

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Rob

Rob Judge is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness. To stay up-to-date with his most current writing, connect with him on Facebook and on Twitter.

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One Response

  • Joe October 31, 2016 at 3:11 am

    Interesting video, but uncertainty alone isn’t going to make her want to chase you. You have to provide a fun and enjoyable time that you spend with her, that’s the key. Uncertainty has a lower percent of working if a girl’s interest level isn’t high enough. However, I can understand that many guys don’t even know about uncertainty, so this video does a good job of explaining it, I just think it needs the extra bells and whistles added around it so someone who watches this isn’t going to be a complete cold fish when it comes to interactions with girls but instead understands the dynamic of the interaction and between men/women.

    Reply
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    I teach men how to meet, attract, and date hotter girls.

    Most men completely misunderstand “tests.” They t Most men completely misunderstand “tests.”

They think a woman is trying to mess with them…

When in reality, she’s trying to understand you.

She’s watching:
Do you get reactive?
Do you seek approval?
Do you lose your frame under pressure?

And the moment you over-explain, get defensive, or try to “win”…

You fail the test.

The guys who pass don’t argue.

They stay grounded.
They stay playful.
They don’t take it personally.

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    Stop Chasing Women. Actually, Don’t. Just Hide It Better.

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    Most men don’t struggle because they can’t attract women…

They struggle because they ignore the wrong ones.

Red flags aren’t always obvious.

And if you don’t catch them early, you pay for it later.

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